Tag: hope

children, gratitude, mommyhood, potty training, self-discovery, terrible twos

Through the Day

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Frickity

Our good friends down the street had a birthday party for their three year old daughter. I had to go to this party without Mad Dog because of his work commitments (I know, that’s a shocker). I have to do stuff with the boys by myself all the time so that isn’t my issue. My issue is that at birthday parties, my children lose all ability to control themselves and wind up dangerously close to clinical insanity (or maybe it’s me).

I’m not sure if it’s the new setting, the almost tangible party excitement or the fancy cupcakes that set them off. We were there for three hours and I think I had one, five minute intelligent conversation with another adult in that time frame. The rest of the time I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off meeting the needs of my children, making sure that the other children were safe from them and making sure my friends’ home and their many possessions remained unharmed. It was exhausting.

T.Puzzle of course was defiant and spewed out a few screaming ‘no!’ tantrums. He also managed to lock his teeth on his brother’s hand as they fought over some toy. As I placed him in time-out he threw himself on the floor in kinetic desperation. By the time the party was over and I corralled my boys home I was drained and openly hostile with Mad Dog (who had arrived home a few short moments before we did). My hostility multiplied when Mad Dog questioned its existence. I’m sorry but three solid hours of stress will tend to make a Mom cranky.

This evening and all its stress melted away and brought us to our morning. T.Puzzle had a dry diaper after almost twelve hours of slumber! As soon as I realized this I raced to get him to the potty. As soon as I put him down he starts protesting in screaming wails. How on earth could anyone after TWELVE hours not immediately pee when placed on a toilet? I argue with him for a couple minutes. Then I take a figurative step back and realize I don’t really want to be locked in a power struggle over the potty. Our day would start off pissy if we did. So, I give up and leave the bathroom to pick out his clothes for the day. No sooner than my foot crosses that threshold, he pees. He was being stubborn. No way was he going to pee in front of Mommy. That would make her too happy. He wasn’t having any of that.

Despite its frustrating beginning our day goes pretty well. The weather has finally shifted. It’s not the normal thousand degrees with a million percent humidity. There is an actual chill in the air. Who knows how long it will last but it is delicious.

Part of my project for this fall-like day is to make eggless cupcakes for Full Speed’s mini-birthday celebration tomorrow. I go to the bother of driving to the not-so-convenient store to get the eggless mix because I want little brother T.Puzzle to feel included. Who knows if he will even actually eat them?

Once they are baked and cooled (they smell awesome by the way), I ask Full Speed to help me decorate them. I frost them in chocolate and give him the bottle of colored, candied sprinkles. In a flash he has it open and dumps almost the entire contents on one cupcake. I lose it. Mad Dog intervenes which makes me lose it more. I’m upset that Full Speed is wasteful for sure, but ultimately I’m upset because I told him to stop when he first started the dumpage and as soon as I turn my back, he continues to dump it all on one, defenseless cupcake.

The tension subsides after the cupcakes are more or less decorated and then I offer to read a chapter of ‘Inkheart’ to Full Speed out on the lanai. He is happy to do so. We snuggle under a fluffy red, blanket and pick up the story where we left off from yesterday.

Soon we have an unexpected visitor bust through the door and jump up on the chaise with us. T.Puzzle beams a smile at us and shouts, “I BACK!” Full Speed and I crack up. I say, “Well, T.Puzzle, we didn’t even know you had left,” and the laughter continues. Then the laughter takes a life of its own and we giggle and guffaw over funny faces and who knows what else.

Sometimes the pendulum of motherhood swings in your favor, sometimes it swings against you. Your job is to hang on and coast with its motion and when the laughter of the small moments finds you, embrace it with everything you have. Sometimes that’s all a Mom gets to get her through the day.

Yum

children, eyesight, gratitude, life in pictures, mommyhood

Amen.

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I’m feeling a bit like a blogger who has lost her words (well, only a little, as you’ll see I manage to write on). I’ve been trying to capture what I am feeling and words on a screen cannot do it justice. Full Speed got his new glasses yesterday and they are amazing. What tugged at my heartstrings most was how PROUD he was to wear them. Up until now he has worn his other glasses without complaint. I can’t imagine they were comfortable weighing down his adorable, little face and denting in the sides of his sensitive nose. Even so I was surprised at how excited he was to have his new glasses. I guess the fact that everyone in the optometrist’s office kept commenting on his extreme level of good looks in his new frames probably egged on his sense of pride (and let’s face it, an almost five year old loves to be the center of attention).

cute new glasses

Of course during his fitting for his new frames, little brother T.Puzzle escaped from the tiny room with all the children’s frames and was peering at me through a window in the waiting area, standing on a chair of course, and saying “Hi, Mommy!” over and over. It is guaranteed chaos when we trek to the optometrist’s. It’s because it is a place wholly unequipped for the five and under set.

As we exited the office (thankfully with all display cases still intact) and I took pictures of Full Speed’s beaming smile in his new frames, I thought about what it meant. His vision has improved. He can see. My prayer for improved sight from so long ago had finally been answered.

Over the years my prayers have changed. I felt so helpless when Full Speed was initially diagnosed and it made me feel more in control in the sad, dark hours of the night to send a prayer out into the universe. I figured it couldn’t hurt an already challenging situation. Through this process, as you know, I first prayed for the betterment of his vision. Eventually, I let that prayer go (as my acceptance of his condition grew and all that went with it) and I started to pray for different things. I began to pray for strength and courage. One of the most important changes I remember was asking that wherever our journey took us as a family in life, that we would be in a place that offered the best possible eye care for my children. We moved to Florida and the rest is history. Amen.

cute new glasses three

life in pictures, mommyhood, self-discovery

Wait for It

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Patient Full Speed is home for the week. It’s not as an intimidating prospect as it used to be because he is much easier to manage. When I was pregnant with him years ago, I had these deluded fantasies that he would accompany me on all my errands throughout the week and we would laugh and giggle and have a grand ol’ time. That was before I understood the subtleties of childhood temperament and the level of movement needed to maintain an active baby’s contentment. In other words, I didn’t know a darn thing about raising a stubborn, hyperactive boy who was constantly in motion.

Almost from the moment I brought him home it was like an assault of shock and awe. He wasn’t fond of sleep, needed constant stimulation and he was a non-believer in staying in one place. My dreams of having pleasant company as I made my way through the mundane tasks of existence quickly evaporated in a hyperactive cloud of smoke. I soon learned to do more in less time and to always be moving when doing so. For example, I could make it through a run for groceries if I did just that. Run. I would literally have to move through the store at a slow and steady jog. If I paused for a moment, Full Speed would freak. Constant movement was the key to keeping him seated and quiet. I would get to the check-out and all hell would break loose because we would be at a standstill. Oh, the fond, fond memories.

Since his little brother has taken over the reigning crown of difficult small person in our home, I am now often surprised to find how much I enjoy my time with Full Speed these days. We have very similar senses of humor and can crack each other up just by a look or a word. He’s comical. He must have gotten the funny gene from my Mom. She was hilarious.

He has been accompanying me to my allergy shots and he loves it. Surprisingly, so do I (the company, not the shots). He is calm (mostly) and respectful (mostly). He can actually entertain himself so even if it takes a long time, there is not a meltdown in sight.

We did run in to a small catch today. An elderly woman came through the door of the allergy office with a walker and Full Speed loudly says, “What in the world is that thing?” He said it rather rudely, too.

Oh, you Moms out there know the feeling of awkward embarrassment a child’s curiosity and their inability to filter their thoughts can cause. Every Mom has a similar story (that is if your child can speak). The kind of story where your child states the obvious and the recipient of this obvious observation is less than pleased.

How did I handle it? I faced it head on. “Full Speed, it is called a walker that helps her to keep steady. It isn’t rude to wonder what it is, but the way you asked about it was disrespectful. I would like you to say, ‘sorry ma’am’.” He did and I’m not sure he totally understood what he was apologizing for but it seemed like the right thing. The woman seemed grateful that I openly acknowledged his comment and let it go after that. A situation concerning a walker or the like (glasses, a cane, etc.) is a little easier to handle than if your child comments on an actual physical, unchangeable characteristic of someone else. I am hoping I don’t have to blog about that anytime soon (fingers crossed!). Other than that (and it was relatively minor in the grand scheme), we had a fine time.

It took five, long years to get to the point with Full Speed that more often than not he is well-behaved and even pleasant on outings. If I do the math, and believe me math is not my strong suit, I have two years and some change for Frick to reach this behavioral/emotional milestone. I don’t know if I have what it takes to wait it out. I guess I have to. My only other alternative is to wait for my meds to kick in.

p9243336

eyesight, health, parenting, surgery

Ladies’ Man

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Our doctor graciously agreed to perform Full Speed’s second surgery on a Friday. This meant that she would have to meet us at the Children’s Clinic on a Saturday for a follow-up. Since the clinic is technically closed on Saturday, we had to have the security guard let us in, the lights were out in the building and we had to go in a back way through a maze of offices.

Full Speed’s follow-up was good. He struggled a little because his eye was sensitive to light as it is still dilated from all the drops from yesterday’s surgery. He was uncomfortable and that was obvious.

We are currently waiting for his new prescription to come in and hoping we get it sometime next week. To get him adequate vision to function in the meantime, the doctor put in an extended-wear contact in his right eye while he continues to wear a protective shield over his left. He struggled through the contact process. He fidgeted and would flinch almost every time the contact was nearly in place. We tried it with him seated, then lying down and then finally seated again. I marveled at how challenging it was for even the doctor to get a contact on him. How I managed to change them in and out when we tried them before is quite miraculous.

Eventually, the contact was in place and we were given clearance to go home. Before we left, the doctor hands us two spare contacts in case he loses the one in his right eye. Mad Dog and I are astonished at this. When Full Speed had contacts ordered before, we had to wait over a month for them to come in because they were so highly specialized. Once we had them, we were only allowed one pair so when we lost one, we were out of luck. With his new prescription, the Children’s Clinic came up with a contact for him in a day and gave us two spares no problem. It is surreal being in the world of the normal range prescription. We are so thankful.

As we go down the stairs to the parking lot, Full Speed holds the doc’s hand. They have hit it off tremendously and it seems like a perfectly natural gesture. As we pull out from the parking garage, Full Speed tells us again that the doctor is his girlfriend. He then goes on to list all of his lady friends. After the doctor it’s our babysitter, then two girls from his class and last but not least, his Mom. It’s an honor just being nominated really.

marital blissishness, parenting, self-discovery

Truthfully Speaking

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Are you technically having an argument with your husband if you are simply stating your case and it happens to be true? I was upset with Mad Dog this morning (I was going to say mad but since the word mad is part of his nickname; I felt it canceled out the meaning). He has been working a lot (no surprise) and I am wishing it could be different (no surprise). I was so steamin’ angry that I called him while he was on his way to work. My point was to give him a laundry list of reasons of why I was so upset. I’m sure he was super excited to take my phone call. To his credit, he did not respond with a counter-attack. Either he is an incredibly intelligent man (if you know him, you know this to be true) or he thought my rant was so off-base, he couldn’t dignify it with a response. I’m hoping for the former. He better hope it’s the former, too. That’s not a threat. Again, how could it be? It’s simply a statement that happens to be true.

My Mom used to say that if you always agree with your spouse then one of you isn’t necessary. Well apparently Mad Dog and I are both highly essential to this union.

Relationships are complicated. Look at my boys. One minute they are wrestling each other within an inch of their lives, the next they are side by side calmly watching a show. There is no pattern or way to figure which way they are going to be each day. Frick and Frack

Maybe I would be bored to tears if they were quiet, calm and predictable (that made me laugh out loud as I tried to imagine them as that – never, gonna happen!). Maybe I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if a simple outing to Wal-Mart with them was just that. Simple.

Simple is nice when making a recipe I suppose. Simple can bring a sense of comfort and practiced rhythm to the world. My world is a little different. It is full of unknowns, outlandish behavior and disagreements. It has spice and surprise. I’m curious to see what happens next especially for T.Puzzle and Full Speed. Aren’t you?