Tag: karate

children, humor, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, Taekwondo

The Motherland

WFAM

Mad Dog has taken the boys to tae kwon do practice two days running.  I have whole-heartedly enjoyed the reprieve.

As they sauntered out to the studio Full Speed was shocked that Mom was staying behind.

“You’re not coming with us?  What are you going to do, Mom?”

I didn’t want to share that my plans consisted of a whole lot of nothing.  I had a hot date with my Redbook magazine and XM Radio holiday traditions, baby.

“Well, Mom, I guess you are going to the Motherland to rest and relax,” he decided.  I love that he coined this new term and acted as if we use the word ‘Motherland’  in casual conversation all the time.

That’s when it dawned on me.  I need to create a Disney-like complex dedicated for Moms only.   There would be kiosks of cocktails and stores full of fashion and shoes.  Instead of rides and attractions there would be spa treatments and chocolate tastings.  It would have fantastic lighting that would flatter the face and a perimeter flanked with mirrors that when looked in, would reflect back a slimmer silhouette.

We would all feel beautiful, loved and appreciated.  I’d even open the doors to anyone who is a caregiver in any capacity.  Daycare teachers, Grandmas, nurses, friends, etc. would all be welcome.

Anyone care to join me?

children, gratitude, happiness, humor, kids, life in pictures, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, self-discovery, self-image/self-acceptance

Perfect

WFAM

When Mad Dog is out of town for work, I decide this is the time in which not only do I have to be supermom, but I have to do it perfectly.  My belief system, as crazy as it sounds, deems it necessary that if I can keep my boys happy and smiling while Mad Dog is away, then I must be doing my ‘job’ right.

Let me say it right now.  This is insane.

So what if Full Speed is angry I made him wear a jacket to school this morning (it was cold, yes, 60 degrees in Florida is considered cold)?  So what if T.Puzzle pouts because I didn’t have his favorite kind of pancake readily available for breakfast (Confetti Pancakes by Aunt Jemima in case you are wondering)?  Oh, and let’s not forget my minor meltdown because Full Speed’s new teacher scheduled an open house with only three days notice.  It took a phone call to my sister who thankfully answered to tell me what to do.  It was so simple.  Skip karate, have Mad Dog’s Dad watch the boys and go to the open house alone.  Brilliant.  Absolutely brilliant.

Why didn’t I see this simple solution?  Because my inner perfect Mommy critic told me I needed to take my boys to karate like I promised Mad Dog.  He didn’t know there was an open house when he left and neither did I. For some reason, I couldn’t deviate from my original plan.  My sister gave me the permission I needed so I could.

Thank goodness my sister was a voice of calm reason.  I guess that’s why if you are lucky enough to have one, you are infinitely blessed because they can come through for you in the most unexpected and very appreciated ways.

Maybe I can let my inner critic soften a little bit or at least offer her a shot of tequila (I mean loosen up, girl!), and stop looking at how I am falling short of perfection.  I need to flip my belief system upside down.

How about all the times Full Speed and T.Puzzle shared a genuine giggle with me while Mad Dog is away?  Or how ‘Dust Buster Tag’ is their new favorite pasttime (my floors are cleaner for it)?  Or how about the basic fact that they are clothed, fed, bathed and quite simply loved (even when they are angry and/or pouting)?

Love is patient, love is kind…, it’s anything you want it to be except perfect.

Related Articles
children, mommyhood

Kung Fu Sleeping

WFAM

Mad Dog and I saw ‘The A-Team’ on a movie date night this week. It was enjoyable. I noticed a CIA character wore body armor to protect himself from being shot. I think I need to translate this armor into something parents can wear when they are forced to bring their children into bed with them.

Mad Dog has been traveling this week and one night even before I headed upstairs for bed, little T.Puzzle kept crying out and fussing. I managed to settle him back down with soothing words and a drink of water, but decided if he did it again, I’d just bring him to bed with me. He was snotty, coughing and miserable and I figured since Mad Dog was gone, why not?

Take that, Mommy!

Naturally, he fussed again and I scooped him up and brought him to my bed. Throughout the night he did unexpected kung fu kicks to my stomach and chest with intermittent karate chops to my head. Keep in mind these were completely unintentional. He was dead asleep during these ‘attacks’. There were times I feared for my safety and was unable to fall back asleep.

That’s why I need to invent pajamas that have some sort of barrier to physical blows. My sewing skills are extraordinary. Okay, they are extraordinarily bad so it’s never gonna happen. All I can do is curl up in a tight ball to protect my internal organs and hope for the best.

Of course, little T.Puzzle slept like a baby and woke up bright-eyed and bushy tailed. I woke up feeling (and looking) like an eighty year old man.

Wish me luck for the remainder of Mad Dog’s time away. I obviously am going to need it.