Tag: Mother

grief, loss of parent, motherhood, parenting, self-discovery

3 Years

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This is the third anniversary of when my Mom passed away.  I would like to think that somehow losing a loved one gets easier.  It does not.  It only changes inside you.  The loss becomes a permanent part of your soul.  It never leaves you.

I miss having her in my world.  I miss having that reassurance that she would always be there and that more importantly, she would listen to me and truly care about what I had to say.

Isn’t that what anyone wants?  To be heard, to be seen and to be truly, truly loved.  Imagine if everyone in the world had access to that kind of love.  The bad days would be bearable, the sweet days would be more so and we’d all be a little bit kinder to ourselves and to each other.

Each day is a new opportunity to learn about ourselves.  I learned so very much from my own mother.  Some of the lessons were easy and beautiful.  Some of the lessons were not.

In the end the most important lesson I learned from my Mom is that it all comes down to forgiveness.

No one is ever going to be perfect and that’s okay.  Perfect doesn’t teach us a thing.  Real life, real love and real relationships do.

My Mom and I saw each other as we really are and still loved each other anyway.  That’s the real deal.

I miss you, Mom!

children, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

So Proud!

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Every parent has moments when they are proud of their children.  It might be an ‘A’ on a test they worked really hard for or holding the door open for someone without being told.

This was not one of those times.

T.Puzzle decided he didn’t feel like listening to his teachers all day long (what a shocker!).  They told him since he couldn’t listen he was going to have to sit by the wall for afternoon recess and not be able to play.  They told me that he looked at them and announced that it didn’t matter because his Mom was picking him up early.  He wasn’t even going to be here for recess.

What’s the opposite of pride?  How I felt right then.

Guess who lost all their privileges and had to sit out recess the next morning?

T.Puzzle and Mad Dog. Both handsome and both don't like to be told what to do.
children, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

Summer Changes

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For most of us in my neighborhood, today is the first official day of summer vacation.  As the usual group of moms gathered outside the main exercise room at the gym, the stories of motherly frustration began to flow.  There were kids who refused to get up, who didn’t want to eat breakfast and who kicked and screamed all the way to the gym kid zone. 

We are all in the same boat.  Summer will be a fun change of pace but there will be some bumps in the road.

My favorite comments were from a Mom who has a grown daughter.  She said that frustration is part of being a mother.  The moms you have to watch out for are the ones who say their kids are “perfect” and everything about motherhood is “easy” and “always wonderful”.   

It’s okay to lose patience with your children as long as you don’t pretend that you never have.

children, gratitude, happiness, humor, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

Role Models

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Lately I’ve noticed that T.Puzzle has taken a genuine interest in learning to read.  He is also attempting to write letters and numbers.  He is highly motivated because he wants to do everything his big brother is doing. 

As long as he seems happy to learn these skills, I’m happy to help teach them to him.  In this instance having Full Speed as a role model for reading and writing success is a positive influence on T.Puzzle.

On the opposite end of siblings-as-role-models spectrum brings to mind a story my Mom told me many years ago.  My older sister simply refused to learn how to tie her shoes (for the record, she has since learned and is quite successful at it).  When my Mom asked her how she planned on getting them tied she replied she would wait until I was a little older and I could tie them for her.

Lucky me.

As you can see, there are pluses and minuses to having an older sibling.

children, gratitude, happiness, humor, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, self care (or lack thereof), self-discovery

Find ‘Me’

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When Mad Dog travels, like he did over this past week, my life with the boys becomes slightly more adventurous.  Thankfully, lately, I have been appreciating these adventures more.  I also managed to miraculously schedule two dinners with friends (one I invited to the house after the boys were asleep) and a lunch with my mother-in-law.

I haven’t had that much social activity since the early nineties when children were a twinkle in my eye and my hair was taller than a full-grown palm tree.

It was rather strange.  While I was physically stretched to the max maintaining the family routine and meeting my social obligations this week, my spirit felt completely full. 

I’m learning that as my children grow and need me less,  I need to embrace this (as much as I can because it hurts ever so) and find myself a little more each day. 

That’s what friends and a fabulous mother-in-law are for.