Tag: parenting

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

The Meaning of Joy

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photo-19

 

As a parent, I have a two basic ground rules that I hold near and dear to me.  The first is that when I ask my boys to do something, they are required to do it the first time I ask them.  The second is that good manners and respect are the foundation for everything.  So, as our Spring Break wore on, so did my patience.  The boys weren’t really understanding that they were getting a lot of fun privileges and they were getting rather snarky with me.  Of course, I don’t expect them to be perfect, but when the latest round of rudeness crept onto the scene, I decided to intervene.  For their rainy day Saturday, all electronic privileges were suspended.  I told the boys they had to entertain themselves and they weren’t allowed to ask me how to do so.   Also, they had an early bedtime and had to read actual books, no e-readers allowed until lights out.

I got right up on my soapbox and explained all the ways they had shown ingratitude for the week.  I went play-by-play over the ways they talked back and disrespected me.  As I was finishing up my impassioned argument as to why they were being grounded, T.Puzzle started to crack a little.  Tears rimmed his eyes but never spilled over.  Full Speed, well, he had a different approach.  He decided an electronics-free day sounded AMAZING.  He went on to have the most joy-filled day of his life.  I could tell he was really trying to stick it to me when he patiently played a board game with his brother and didn’t try to choke him out when he lost.  Not on this day, the most joyful day ever.

It got to be almost comical as Full Speed theatrically and vocally expounded on his joy throughout the day.

I have to admit, I admire his creativity.

Full Speed=1

Mom=0

 

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Pressure

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ry=400One of the best things about the return of dogs to our household, are the morning walks to school with the boys.  It’s during these walks the dogs are exercised, and the conversation runs freely.  This is when I learn about the complexities of Minecraft, the best of the Percy Jackson books as well as how T.Puzzle still favors Goldfish as a snack above all else.  I love these walks.

As the boys get older, the dynamic of these conversations has already began to shift.  While I used to be the central figure, the boys are realizing that talking directly to each other is important, too.   Here’s a snippet of a recent dialogue they exchanged:

Full Speed:  “T.Puzzle you are going to have an awesome time on your field trip to the zoo.  When I went in first grade with my class, my favorite was the reptile house.  That’s kind of where the boys really want to go because it is so cool.”

T.Puzzle:  “Yeah, I really want to go there.  Anyway, where do girls want to go at the zoo?”

Full Speed: (He pauses clearly perplexed)  “I’m not sure where they like to go.  Maybe the petting zoo?  They might like to pet a horse.”

This is when it struck me.  I am basically shaping their worldview of feminism.  Pressure, much?

However, I am determined to show my boys that girls are fearless around reptiles, too.  I guess that means when we go to the zoo over spring break, we are heading straight to the reptile house.

I apologize to the sisterhood in advance.

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Managing the Talent

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Brothers march down the field

It’s spring soccer season here.  Mad Dog is coaching and the boys are playing on the same team.  You would think that playing in a low-key community league would make life easier for us all.   You would think.

I have not one, but three very opinionated and strong-willed men to manage.  Let’s start with Full Speed.  He has been blessed with lots of natural athletic ability.  He was not blessed with an automatic good attitude.  He only seems to invest his energy in the game if his team is winning and all his goal shots fall unobstructed into the opposition’s net.  Since, these are highly impossible expectations, he spends a lot of his play time with a stinky attitude.  Guess who this drives bananas?  Coach.  Yep, Coach Mad Dog’s frustration rises with each apathetic kick that Full Speed delivers.  It’s a vicious cycle.  And, the car rides home after the game are not fun.

You may wonder what little T.Puzzle doing in all this mayhem.  He is playing up an age bracket to keep him challenged and for the simplicity of having both boys on the same team.  At first, he was all for it.  As the season wears on, he has some serious doubts.  He is kind of missing his U8 team right about now.  I spend a lot of time after each game validating all the injuries he sustained at the feet of much larger 8 and 9 year olds.  His little seven-year old ego needs a lot of extra attention and it’s never fun to see him get illegally slide tackled by a giant third grader.  Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure Moms are not allowed to slide tackle anyone who messes with their baby.  Which is too bad really because my slide tackling skills are pretty sweet.

It had gotten to the point where I was ready to throw in the towel.  Then, a miracle happened.  Even though we ended up losing our last game 3-2, Full Speed managed to play with a good attitude for its entirety.  This shifted the dynamic with Mad Dog and made the loss and car ride home bearable.  As for little T.Puzzle, he still sustained a few injuries but his confidence remains intact.  When asked by Mad Dog three ways he could improve, T.Puzzle was at a loss.  Apparently, in his mind, he does everything soccer-related awesome.

All I can do is manage the talent to the best of my ability.  I have my work cut out for me.

children, family, gratitude, happiness, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Reality Check

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photo-17Mad Dog and I have returned from our annual kid-free cruise.  We were blessed with good weather, great company and outstanding service and food.  It felt good to get away, but I missed my boys.  We were away from them for four nights.  When we picked them up from school, it was clear that they were happy to see us.  I even got a genuine hug from Full Speed.  If any of you have a third grader like him that willingly gives you a public hug on school grounds, you know how special it is.

My sister-in-law and brother-in-law had volunteered to watch them for us while we were away.  It worked out well because they live right down the street and my nephew goes to the boys’ school.  When I picked up their bags and asked how it went, I was a little taken aback at what I heard.  Apparently, they didn’t really seem to miss me, they didn’t hardly speak my name and they had a great time while we were gone.  Can you imagine?  How is this possible?  You mean their life doesn’t stop if I’m not in it?

Well, I’m going to do the only rational thing I can do for next year’s cruise.  I’m going to have to take them with me.

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

And the Award Goes to….

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ry=400T.Puzzle has been working on an on-line math curriculum.  He is enjoying it.  Yes, he enjoys math.  I’m not sure we are truly related.  Anyway, as he was winding down one particular lesson, I said to him that the next section would be easy for him since he is awesome with shapes and angles.  He said, “I don’t have to wait until the next lesson Mom, because I’m awesome at EVERYTHING.”

AWARD GIVEN:  T.Puzzle wins the Best Self-Image Award for seven years running.  We would open the contest to other contenders, but frankly, T.Puzzle is just too awesome and it wouldn’t be fair.

As we were on our way to an event as a family, I plugged the address in my phone to start us in the right direction.  About halfway there, Mad Dog posed a question to clarify what exit we needed to take.

“Dad, do you know where you are going?” Full Speed asked with an incredulous tone.

“Of course, I always know where I’m going,” Mad Dog replied.

“That’s because you have Mom to guide you,” my brilliant son said.

AWARD GIVEN:  Full Speed has earned the Super Star Award for showing incredible and accurate insight on the fly.  He also received several bonus rounds of hugs and kisses from his Mom.

Of course, I can’t forget to mention Mad Dog.  First, it is relevant for you to know that I hate our computer printer.  Not just kind of dislike it, but actually hate it.  It is temperamental, touchy and unreliable and has been so for years.  As I had yet another glitchy, unsuccessful encounter with our printer, I tried to convey to my husband that it is TIME to get a new one.  He said that I should be happy that he isn’t willing to throw in the towel on something just because it’s been around a long time.  He said I should be glad that he isn’t quick to replace it with a newer, younger model.

AWARD GIVEN:  Mad Dog has earned the Most All-Around Exasperating Yet Endearingly Charming Award.

That’s it, that’s all I got.  I’m too old like my printer to write any more.