Category: Taekwondo

children, humor, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, Taekwondo

The Motherland

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Mad Dog has taken the boys to tae kwon do practice two days running.  I have whole-heartedly enjoyed the reprieve.

As they sauntered out to the studio Full Speed was shocked that Mom was staying behind.

“You’re not coming with us?  What are you going to do, Mom?”

I didn’t want to share that my plans consisted of a whole lot of nothing.  I had a hot date with my Redbook magazine and XM Radio holiday traditions, baby.

“Well, Mom, I guess you are going to the Motherland to rest and relax,” he decided.  I love that he coined this new term and acted as if we use the word ‘Motherland’  in casual conversation all the time.

That’s when it dawned on me.  I need to create a Disney-like complex dedicated for Moms only.   There would be kiosks of cocktails and stores full of fashion and shoes.  Instead of rides and attractions there would be spa treatments and chocolate tastings.  It would have fantastic lighting that would flatter the face and a perimeter flanked with mirrors that when looked in, would reflect back a slimmer silhouette.

We would all feel beautiful, loved and appreciated.  I’d even open the doors to anyone who is a caregiver in any capacity.  Daycare teachers, Grandmas, nurses, friends, etc. would all be welcome.

Anyone care to join me?

children, humor, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, Taekwondo, terrible threes

Dreams with a Bite

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Oh, T.Puzzle.  There were times when I was nicknaming you for this blog, that unfortunately words like shark and razor tooth were at the top of the heap.  As I went through the catalogue of your gifts and idiosyncracies, a fascination with using your chompers for evil was a strong contender for possible names.

So happy I went the puzzle route instead.

We all dream our children will find their passion.  We hope they excell at whatever they choose to endeavor.

One of T.Puzzle’s favorite endeavors is to bite his brother.

It didn’t start out this way.  He used to bite about anyone or anything in his path.

I told you he was gifted.

Thankfully, except for the rare attempt here and there on innocent bystanders, he now seems to mostly isolate his attacks on Full Speed.

Is it bad that I’m secretly grateful he is only biting his brother?

I feel if he keeps it in our family there’s less chance of a lawsuit.

What’s a Mom to do?

I wrote an extremely unfavorable behavior report for tae kwon do about his recent double-biting-brother escapades over Thanksgiving break.

Here’s how it went down:

“First, let’s commend little Bobby for helping his sister with the dishes,” exclaimed the instructor as he rattled off the first exemplary behavior report.

“Wow, great job to little Jenny for being polite and using her manners,” he continued.

It went on and on.  One after the other did something more extraordinary than the student before him.

Until…

we got to T.Puzzle and his report of biting doom.

And this was when my other dream of having a child stand out in a crowd was fully realized.

Maybe it’s time to start shopping around for some new dreams.

children, health, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, self-discovery, Taekwondo

Everywhere

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I was sitting off to the side of T.Puzzle’s tae kwon do practice.  With the help of a babysitter, and let’s be real here for a moment, a good babysitter is to a frazzled Mom what wine is to a frazzled Mom, I can take each boy to skill appropriate classes.  T.Puzzle remains in Tiny Tigers and Full Speed attends high-ranking juniors classes.

I was trying my best to blend into the background.  I’m usually exhausted at this point having wrangled all the gear, uniforms, behavior reports, etc. and all I want is quiet oblivion.

The instructor is always trying to get us parents out on the mat.  It’s not my cup of tea, it’s more Mad Dog’s style, so I try to avoid it as much as possible.  To gain more parent involvement, the instructor brilliantly uses the kids now to request help from their Mom or Dad.  No Mom in their right mind would deny their three year old’s request of, “Ma’am?  Would you please hold a target for me?”  Between his saucer-like eyes and killer dimples, T.Puzzle got me out on the mat in about two seconds flat.

I start helping him with his drills.  He’s ducking my moving target, he’s throwing punches and generally doing a fantastic job.

Then he stops.  His arms fall to his sides and he becomes motionless.   He stares up at me.

I have no idea what he thinks he’s doing.

“Mom, I want to give you a kiss,” he states.

So, he leans forward, tilts his head upward and plants a smooch.

He doesn’t skip a beat.  He immediately reverts back to his punches and his fighting stance.

I continue with the drills even though I am changed somehow.

I am reminded of the constant, indestructible nature of love.  It is whole and beautiful and if you take a moment to breathe, you will find it right beneath the surface of everything. Even under the surface of tae kwon do drills.

Love is everywhere.

children, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, rock and a hard place, Taekwondo

Fake Out

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Full Speed demonstrates a 'real' hit.

The thing about threats is that you have to follow through with them.  I mean you don’t have to follow through.  You could threaten away until you are blue in the face and the only result would be children who don’t take you seriously.

Seriously?  That would be bad.

I told T.Puzzle and Full Speed I would take them out to dinner only with good reports from school.  They both succeeded.  I was golden.  My clean kitchen would remain intact and I would get something to eat I didn’t have to prepare.

Yet…

Full Speed decided to fake hit me at some point because I made him mad.  Yeah, that’s his new thing.  Fake hitting Mommy.

This is when I imagine fake locking him in his room until he’s eighteen or stops fake hitting me.

Instead I said he blew it.  Even though both boys earned the privilege of dinner out, the privilege was now officially off the table.

When all was said and done, I tried to fake clean my kitchen after the dinner I had to prepare against my will.

Too bad that didn’t work either.

children, humor, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, Taekwondo

Belts VS. Pizza

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It was Full Speed’s turn to graduate.  I have less reservations about his involvement in tae kwon do because since the age of three, he has taken to it like a fish to water.  I figure there can’t be any real lasting damage if the kid is having a blast.

As for the adults viewing the nearly two and a half hour long graduation spectacle, I don’t think we fared quite as well (my apologies to Grandma and Grandpa for the extreme time commitment, on a Saturday no less!).  Apparently, we got off easy.  Previous graduations for juniors and above have clocked in at five hours.

Why oh why can’t Full Speed be a Tiny Tiger forever?  One hour graduations for the little kids are the bomb.  And, poor T.Puzzle was beside himself with boredom and hunger near the end of Full Speed’s graduation.  He sounded like a broken record, “Can I get some pizza?  Can I get some pizza?  How about some pizza peeps?”

Full Speed in attack mode as he spars for his belt advancement.

Despite all this, we enjoyed watching Full Speed perform his forms, kicks and punches.  He sparred like a champ and showed great attention and focus.  As for me, I showed great attention and focus, but only when Full Speed was on the mat.  The rest of the time I too, dreamed of pizza (and shopping, and reading and birds and the meaning of life, pretty much anything except tae kwon do).

We join him on the mat for the belt tying ceremony.

Way to go Full Speed!

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