Category: tantrums

children, life in pictures, mommyhood, tantrums

A Leopard’s Spots

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I’ll admit it. I’ve been avoiding long public outings with little T.Puzzle on the days he is home with me. I just don’t have it in me. The span of my motherhood experience (going on almost six years), has seen more than its share of bad situations in which one or more of my children reaches meltdown status at the most inopportune moments.

I can’t avoid the public forever so I took little T.Puzzle to the mall.

Sounds simple, doesn’t it?

It is not.

At the mall there are several transitions that have to transpire. As each transition builds upon the last the odds of little T.Puzzle reaching meltdown status increase exponentially.

First, the dreaded play area. This is where I have to watch him like a hawk so he doesn’t tackle innocent toddlers or bite someone who rankles him.

So far so good. He did okay.

Then on to the train.

My favorite.

All aboard!

We actually had a great time.

After that, it was lunchtime and then a potty break.

He was handling all these many transitions like a pro. I can absolutely tell he is maturing and can be coached verbally to avoid tantrums…

That is until it was time to leave the Thomas the Train table at Books.A.Million.

Yikes!!

I’m still not out of the woods yet, people. And my apologies to all the passersby who witnessed little T.Puzzle’s unfortunate descent into the realm of tantrum.

Little T.Puzzle gears up for a full-blown meltdown. It started mild and then went to the extreme rapidly.

He is who he is. He’s a kid with a colorful personality that gets frustrated if you ask too much of him. Is it really his fault that he melted down or mine because I didn’t leave earlier?

You can’t change a leopard’s spots, but you can keep him locked in his room until he’s eighteen, right?

children, mommyhood, tantrums, terrible threes

Legendary

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I have been experimenting with the boys’ tae kwon do schedules. Of course it means more work and planning for me, but I think it is necessary. I am now splitting them up into a junior’s class for Full Speed and keeping little T.Puzze in the tiny tigers class.

The results have been significant especially for little T.Puzzle. He has shown great improvement with the absence of Full Speed in his class. As for Full Speed, he is concentrating better surrounded by the older crowd of the junior’s class. Overall, this new schedule change seems to be a win-win.

These great improvements haven’t completely erased my bad tae kwon do memories. As little T.Puzzle was lining up for the start of tiny tigers yesterday, a new student was crying and didn’t want to go on the mat. By the end of class the new student had adjusted and wound up having a great time. The instructor wanted to commend him and that’s when talk shifted to, “If you think this kid’s start was rough, let’s all remember how T.Puzzle  was when he first started and where he is now.”

Before you know it, parent after parent threw in their own unique memory and story of how little T.Puzzle was practically out of his mind not wanting to do tae kwon do when he started.

“Remember how he hid under the table in the corner?” one said.

Another piped in, “Or how he would refuse to do jumping jacks or listen to anything the instructor would say?”

“Don’t forget how he would throw himself on the floor and not move,” said another.

Ah, this is the stuff of which legends are made…

children, mommyhood, tantrums, terrible threes

Mommy Instinct

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We happily survived our visiting nephews. There were some tense moments here and there, but overall, they are good kids. It is fun to talk to them and hear their ever-expanding take on the world around us.

The boys have a movie night with their cousins. Popcorn anyone?

Grandma and Grandpa picked all the boys up (T.Puzzle and Full Speed included) this morning and took them to church. With all the activity we’ve experienced in the past few weeks, my mommy-instinct was on high alert that little T.Puzzle needed to attempt a nap today. I tried to explain this as clearly as possible to Mad Dog who chose to politely ignore my warning. As we headed to pick up the boys, Mad Dog decides that this is the day he HAS to sync Grandma’s phone. A phone sync can be a long and tedious process. I knew, I mean really, really KNEW, we were running out of time concerning little T.Puzzle.

“Do the phone sync another day,” I urged. “T.Puzzle needs some rest time, pronto!”

It was like I wasn’t even talking. Mad Dog was convinced the phone sync would be fast and we’d get little T.Puzzle home soon enough (I strongly disagreed). Well over an hour later the phone was still backing up and little T.Puzzle’s mood had hit the danger zone.

So, when little T.Puzzle reached his inevitable level-10 meltdown, guess who had the honor of dealing with this disaster? (And it got very ugly, fast.)

Me.

Never doubt the mommy-instinct. Those who go against it inevitably will have an irate wife experiencing her own meltdown. Or something like that (insert your own worst nightmare here).

children, gratitude, happiness, mommyhood, tantrums

Summertime

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The several transitions of this week are going, dare I say it…, good. I am seeing the first true glimpses of emotional growth in little T.Puzzle and this has made all the difference. The same development pattern happened with Full Speed, too. Both my boys started with the tantrums at around 18 mos. and carried them well through their third year (I’m pretty sure this isn’t common; I just hit the ‘jack-pot’ with two extra feisty kids).  Full Speed’s  tantrums had some carry over into the fourth year so I know I’m not completely out of the woods with little T.Puzzle.  However,  I’m beginning to see the light of hope peak through the trees. After surviving almost four solid years of tantrums and extreme power struggles, you don’t know how good this feels. And, believe me, I know forest fires of feistiness can pop up any moment, I’m just trying to savor what little victories I can.

Moving to a new class this week is a big deal for little T.Puzzle and he has done really well. Of course the first day started with a lot of ‘nos!’ and crying but he rallied. When I picked him up his new teacher told me that he listened well, cleaned up after himself and she couldn’t ask for more from a new student. Little T.Puzzle is so proud to be in the new ‘big boy’ class that by the second drop-off he politely hugged me and went on his way. I had to double-check to make sure that I hadn’t accidentally grabbed another kid on the way in. I couldn’t believe this was MY little T.Puzzle. See I told you, there is that light again.

The changes of summer have been many and I am thankful my family is weathering them with calm determination. This is so much more preferable than our usual crazy, sobbing-tantrum mode of operation.

I may just survive the boys’ summer after all.

bad day, children, mommyhood, tantrums

Unlikable Days

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I don’t like to be the kind of Mom who fears living her life because the behavior of her child is so unpredictable. For better or worse I have always pushed forward even if I knew tantrums and embarrassment could be imminent. I have never had a period in my life that we stopped taking the boys to restaurants or on other public outings only to sit at home for months and months trying to out-wait their tantrum-prone/defiant phase. My boys are just too active to sit it out. I have to keep going. I admit, this second time around (as in raising little T.Puzzle), it’s harder and harder to find the motivation to keep doing so.

Little T.Puzzle pretends his colored goldfish are James, Percy and Henry the trains

I decided to give myself a break of sorts and didn’t take little T.Puzzle on any outings during the day. That is rather hard with a super-active, super-inquisitive little man to keep entertained all day. Eventually by day’s end, I knew I had to take him outside to do something. I landed on going to the park after we picked up big brother Full Speed from school.

As we pulled in the parking lot I told Little T.Puzzle what my expectations were. “You have to listen to Mommy at all times. If Full Speed needs to use the potty, you come with us immediately. If you decide not to listen you will lose many privileges for the evening. You will sleep alone (he loves to have big brother Full Speed sleep in his room with him), you will go to bed right after showers and there will be no treat and no tv show.”

They played for maybe ten minutes when big brother Full Speed announces he needs to use the bathroom. Little T.Puzzle ignores me when I tell him to come with us and proceeds to laugh at me because he know I can’t reach him. At least this time Full Speed was more prepared to potty on his own so it wasn’t as disastrous as it had been in the past (see ‘I’m Stunned’).

I somehow manage to get little T.Puzzle down from his safe haven of the top of the slide and I dropped the hammer. He went to his room when we got home until dinner was served. He went straight to bed alone after showers and he didn’t even have the privilege of a bedtime story. There were tears and angst (mostly my own) and little T.Puzzle screamed like a banshee at times, too (super-fun).

Motherhood is hard on the days when you question everything. Is my child beyond behavioral repair? What am I doing wrong? Why can’t my child listen to me? Why do even attempts at fun outings lead to disaster?

I guess that’s why love is such a powerful emotion. It trumps everything thank goodness; even the question-filled unlikable days of motherhood.