Category: tantrums

children, mommyhood, tantrums

Scream

WFAM

So, I’m attempting to get my act together in the cooking realm of motherhood. Since the nights I take the boys to Tae Kwon Do are so hectic, I need to plan ahead and start creating crockpot meals. The one I used this week was simple, tasty and I will make it again. The main components were all things the boys enjoy separately (broccoli, chicken, cheesy noodles) but little T.Puzzle was having a hard time with them being all mixed together. He refused to eat, threw a tantrum and was eventually so out-of-control, had to be sent to his room. He proceeds to tantrum on for a solid twenty minutes.

As the screams are winding down I head upstairs to talk to him. I open the door and ask “are you done screaming?” He calms instantly and says, “I wasn’t screaming (which he says as ‘creaming and I find to be aggravatingly adorable), I was yelling.”

“Well, are you done yelling?”

“Yes.”

I’m so glad that semantically we were on the same page. Now if only we could see eye to eye on eating quietly at the table…

bad day, mommyhood, tantrums, terrible threes

Oh Smack!

WFAM

I had this crazy idea that I would take the boys for haircuts. They have been rocking the mohawk look and it’s amazing how quickly it grew out. My plan was to pick Full Speed up from school and take both boys directly to the children’s salon. It is a pretty fantastic set-up. There’s a foosball table, an indoor climbing structure with a slide and an endless array of cool vehicles to sit in and watch Nickelodeon while getting your hair trimmed. They had a splendid time. I played foosball with Full Speed who insisted he was winning no matter how many times I scored. “That one didn’t count, Mom, only mine did,” (of course). Little T.Puzzle took to the slide like a fish to water (more fish similies later; I know you can’t wait but don’t get your gills in a tangle). They both did great for their trim and I was feeling really glad to have it done. Haircuts usually eat into our precious, weekend family time and I had just saved us the hassle. Win, win for sure.

Until,… it was time to leave. Little T.Puzzle absolutely refuses to leave and makes a scramble for the back of the slide structure. He is just about out of reach when I manage to grab his leg. He immediately starts screaming. Full Speed tries to help and yanks on the other leg. Full Speed accidentally tugs off little T.Puzzle’s croc in this muddled process. I see that this is a hot-button for T.Puzzle because he is really starting to lose it. As I manage to wrestle him into my arms (and by now, a crowd of sorts has gathered to watch the show), little T.Puzzle throws his arm back and smacks me squarely on the face.

I take him outside and all hell breaks loose. He’s screaming so loud I can’t think straight. I try to maneuver him to a time-out spot and quickly realize that he is violently flopping about like a dying fish so I can’t. I scoop him up and head to the truck. I grab his other croc from his foot and say he can’t have them back because he slapped me.

He is inconsolable. He cries and yells the whole way home. He is so upset he almost makes himself vomit. I get him home, send him to his room and try to regroup.

This is all stuff I’ve seen before. This isn’t the first time I’ve been smacked by one of my sons (hopefully it’s the last) and this isn’t the first outrageous tantrum I’ve endured.

But seriously, isn’t it enough already?

children, mommyhood, tantrums

Attitude Cleansing

WFAM

We went to our neighborhood egg hunt. There were many lectures about no wrestling, no biting, no tackling and no fighting over eggs. I was filled with apprehension as we waited for the ‘go’ signal from the sidelines. The eggs were spread across a big field like jellybeans and my heart caught in my throat as I waited to unleash the boys into the egg hunt frenzy. I appointed Mad Dog  to T.Puzzle-watch because he was my boy most likely to attack anyone who might get in his way.

When it was time, they gathered their eggs without incident. Little T.Puzzle even went so far as to hand an extra egg to a toddler girl. Very chivalrous of him.

Then we went to Walgreens to get a photo with the Easter Bunny. At the start of the egg hunt I was filled with loads of mommy-guilt because I hadn’t taken them for their traditional Easter Bunny photo. Turns out, Walgreens was my savior. There was no one in line and we got a great package of a profusion of photos for only five bucks. Can’t beat that.

So, I was feeling relieved. Relieved because the boys did great at the egg hunt and because I was able to get their Easter photo. It was all going so well until little T.Puzzle found a ball that he ‘needed’ to have. I told him to put it back because we would have to see what the Easter Bunny might bring us tomorrow. He starts to tantrum and it was only reaching about a level four when I picked him up and… he smacked me across the face. Mad Dog intervened and took him to the car. I’m not sure what punishment took place but when I returned to the car at least little T.Puzzle offered an apology. Nothing makes one more proud than when your own child waps you in the head. I guess he was reminding me that while he can behave at times, ultimately, he doesn’t really like it.

We tried to rally and headed to the car wash. For some reason, watching the cars get washed through the window is an activity of wonderment if you are a boy aged 3 or 5. And as much as I wanted to, I didn’t put little T.Puzzle in the car and send him through the car wash with the windows down. I will admit it was tempting and it might have been an original way to clean up his attitude.

mommyhood, tantrums, terrible threes

Au Revoir

WFAM

We have made it safely back to Florida and now are staying a couple nights oceanside. I could listen to the sound of the waves every day, all day. The boys actually handled the nine hours in the car like champs. You can tell that it tired them out (thankfully!).

This is the dilemma I am having. If your partner senses you are at the end of your rope with your youngest child and magnanimously steps in to take over (thank you, Mad Dog!), what happens when he, too, has reached his limit? Do you then pass the child over to a third party, or do you simply lock him away until he decides to shape up? Do I have any takers? Anyone?

In my house the terrible twos start at about the age of 15 months and last well into the fourth year of life. Little T.Puzzle is following heartily in his big brother’s footsteps by meticulously adhering to this unfortunate behavioral timeline. His favorite phrases are “I NOT!” and “NO! NO! NO!” I’m concerned that his language development will be impeded by his serious overuse of the word ‘no’. How will he ever expand his vocabulary if he does not use he mouth and tongue muscles to ever form the ‘Y’ sound as in ‘yes, ma’am’ or ‘yes, my Mommy, you are so pretty, my Mommy’ (or something like that)?

The great thing about so many consecutive days together as a family is that Mad Dog can see what I’m really up against day after day. Oh, sure, he sees glimpses of it on the weekends, but to have to deal with little T.Puzzle in all his defiant glory 24/7 is a whole other ballgame. Mad Dog initially was very patient with T.Puzzle’s mood swings. He would even offer to sit by him at restaurants to give me a break. Eventually, Mad Dog couldn’t take it. I could tell he was reaching his breaking point as T.Puzzle said ‘No!’ for the 337th time in a twenty minute period and I stepped in to calm the situation.

That’s when it struck me. If both parents reach their absolute limit, where do you go from there?

My guess is boarding school.

Au revoir, little T.Puzzle. Au revoir.

children, mommyhood, tantrums

Just in Case

WFAM

I haven’t taken little T.Puzzle on many outings lately. It’s mostly been due to illness but if I’m going to be completely honest, it’s also because he is so tantrum-prone that my nerves can’t take it. Granted, Full Speed gave me the same sort of issues at this age, but I was younger and my tolerance was higher for behavioral catastrophes (and there were many). Anyway, I have been feeling guilty that little T.Puzzle is missing out. I used to take Full Speed on several structured activities and lately all T.Puzzle has done is observe my laundry skills (which are mad fierce) up close and keep me company while I run to Target (not very educational I suppose unless carrying my purse helps him understand gender roles).

In this new year I am making a commitment to take him on more outings. Today it was storytime at Barnes and Noble. I know I had a 50/50 shot of it actually being enjoyable. He did okay during the story itself and only tried to casually tackle me a couple times. He quickly lost interest in it (he did enjoy the song portion) and darted to the dreaded, community Thomas the Train table as soon as physically possible. He was insistent that his train stay in contact with the railroad at all points and attempted to circle the table again and again. He was running over babies, tossing toddlers and stomping on granny toes to maintain this goal. After about 15 minutes of constant correction by me, I decided it was time to leave. My friend suggested getting a Thomas book to distract him, and it did, but once he realized we were leaving the table for good, a tantrum ensued. Surprisingly, it only reached a level four. Additionally, he did the wet noodle formation in the store in protest. He kept this going out to the parking lot as well. That’s getting pretty tough because he is almost as big as me. I barely powered through and managed to plunk him in the carseat tears and all. By the time we were home, he was calm and even said he was sorry. He is making progress. I think I better up my weight training regiment just in case.